You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘humor’ tag.
I’m going to spare you the view of the left side. Ick.
For the next six weeks I get to play with a new toy and crutches, for as long as I need them.
Oh well, at least I can get up the stairs on the deck now.
Angela issued a challenge, by saying no one would do this, so here’s mine. 😉
FILL IT OUT! Learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn 44 things about you!
1. Do you like blue cheese? Yummy!
2. Do you scuba dive? I did,
twen a number of years ago, but can’t anymore because of my asthma.
3. Do you own a gun? I have, but don’t now. I am thinking about getting a shotgun for snakes and coyotes.
4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite? Pink Lemonade
5. Do you get nervous before a doctor’s appointment? I’m more likely to get irritable.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Quick, easy, and filling, who could ask for more?
7. Favorite Christmas movie? “A Christmas Carol” the 1951 version.
8. Favorite thing to drink in the morning? COFFEE!!
9. Can you do push ups? Not even on a bet.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Diamond earrings Doug got me “just because”
11. Favorite hobby? Painting
12. Do you have A.D.D.? More like OCD
13. Ever saved someone’s life? Yes
14. Middle name? Dawn
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I’m tired. I’m glad my internet is working. The little chewy cat may have to die.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, water, Mocha latte
17. How many siblings do you have? Five, all brothers
18. Current dislike right now? Laundry
19. Favorite place to be? Home
20. Favorite seafood? Lobster
21. Where would you like to go? Jerusalem
22. Name three people who might complete this: I seriously doubt any will.
23. Do you own slippers? Red-neck women don’t do slippers.
24. What shirt are you wearing? None, I’m in my nightie.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No, and it’s a good thing. Cat and dog claws are heck on them.
26. Can you whistle? No 😦
27. Favorite colors? Yellow
28. Would you be a pirate? And have to run around without my makeup and hair products! Not happening.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever I’m practicing for church.
30. Favorite girl’s name? Nela
31. Favorite boy’s name? Timothy
32. What’s in your pocket right now? No pockets
33. Last thing that made you laugh? My Husky/Lab rolling on his back, being cute and funny
34. What vehicle do you drive? A paid for (which is the best part) 95 Ford Escort wagon
35. What’s your worst injury? A broken tail bone
36. Do you love where you live? Love might be a bit strong. I do love my house.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3
38. Who is your loudest friend? Otica!
39. Do you have any pets? 3 dogs, 3 cats, and a bird
40. Does someone have a crush on you? Oh, I hope not. Who has the energy?
41. Your favorite radio station? KLTY
42. Do you collect anything? Cats, dolphins, and from the look of things today, dust
43. Would you rather be in the mountains or at the beach? Mountains!
44. What songs do you want played at your funeral? “Home” by Chris Daughtry, “Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)”, and “Softly and Tenderly“
I’ve decided to leave these out of context, because…well, it’s just more fun that way.
Contrary to popular opinion, cashiers do not fall out of my butt!
Look the way I feel tonight, if you really want my fanny, I’ll hand it to you.
I’ll catch the flasher on five, if you’ll catch the flasher on seven.
Yep, I kicked him, right in the pride.
If any of you crickets give a rat’s behind, we’re going down for the third time up here.
I’m pretty sure I did not order that green thing.
While I know you probably had my health in mind, would you please put the cheese on my cheeseburger this time?
Thank you for avoiding all unnecessary contact with our table tonight, and saving me the cost of a tip.
I don’t know what you’re going to do with it, but if you speak to me that way again you’re not going to like what I do with it.
We do not eat family members!
Get your head out of the litter box!
Get your behind out of my coffee!
Get your fanny out of my face!
Please remove your head from your sister’s behind.
I moved to the couch, because the dog had her chin on my head and was snoring.
I was cold, because your cat was hogging the covers.
It would be easier to sweep without you riding the dust mop.
I won’t be in to work today, because my dog is sick.
Okay, I’m trying very hard my best to be mature here, but have you heard the news that the middle age, wonder-drug Viagra may be the new enhancement sports enhancement drug?
It seems certain professional baseball players have been taking Viagra to improve their performance playing baseball game.
The mind reels! How can Viagra possibly improve one’s performance at bat in a baseball game? Wouldn’t it make wearing a cup hard virtually impossible? I can’t imagine it would make getting around the bases running any picnic either.
Will these guy stop at nothing to prove they are the bigger men better athletes? What’s next?