Many times, in the last thirteen years, I’ve wondered why he even stayed around, and felt like nothing more than a maid and a paycheck or a full time nanny. Many times I’ve asked myself why he stays with someone who is obviously such a burden and a bother to him. After thirteen years of doubting his love, it happened. I got sick, not earth shattering, about to die sick. I only had the flu.
It was just some little things, a hand on my forehead as I slept, bringing me a glass of juice without being asked, and calling several times a day, just to see how I was doing, little things that showed he cared, and was willing to put himself out a bit for me. Then I began to think about other little things, like the way he always insists I call to let him know I made it to work safely. And didn’t he work 20 hours worth of overtime one week, so we could afford new front tires for my car? How did I miss it for so long?
Little things.
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18 comments
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January 16, 2008 at 12:50 pm
elissakaren
Wow, this was a knockout. So simply put and yet so powerful.
January 16, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Corina
I think we often forget to look at the little things. I’m glad you’ve seen them now!
January 16, 2008 at 8:51 pm
pandemonic
That’s all it takes. The little things. They’re the best.
January 16, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Vicky In The Middle
I love this Shawn. So much wisdom here about relationships. I wonder sometimes, why doesn’t he just get tired of me and all my bullshit. He could go live wherever he wanted, unencumbered by me and all my crap. But not only does he stay, he makes sure I know he’ll always, always stay. Some days, when I’m in the abyss, he’s my only lifeline. And you’re completely right, it is the little things. He’ll got for milk and bread and bring me home some oranges even though they weren’t on his list, just because he knows I love them. I don’t know of anyone else in the world, with the possible exception of my Mom, who would hold my head when I vomit with the flu and then put me in clean jammies. He’s really something special and I need to be reminded of that sometimes. Thanks.
January 16, 2008 at 10:54 pm
thelittlefluffycat
Well, I got no hope of writing anything better than what Vicky just said–but I woke up this morning, 28 years into the marriage, stupid-sick from missing the pill that lets me eat things with milk in ‘em, and I know ‘zackly what you mean, girl-child.
January 17, 2008 at 12:18 am
Ina
Vicky stole everyone else’s comments.
I had it yesterday, too. Even though we’re still new enough for me to know how much he cares, a bit of stomach flu brought it all back home.
January 17, 2008 at 5:15 am
Shawn W
Elissakaren, thank you!
Corina, I can’t believe it took so long!
It really is, Pandemonic.
You should show him your comment, Vicky. Isn’t is amazing how much of our crap they take and still love us?
Littlefluffycat, hope you feel better soon.
Hope you’re feeling better too, Ina. Isn’t it odd how our illness brings out the best in them.
January 17, 2008 at 6:34 am
TheOtherIvy
That is sweet. The little things do mean so much, those caring gestures.
January 17, 2008 at 10:15 am
tigereye
Yep — I hope Vicky’s happy, because there’s no following that.
Seriously, this made me think of how often I’ll be annoyed at John for something, and then he’ll say or do something so thoughtful it makes me want to hide between my own shoulder blades for a while.
Man, I hope he doesn’t read that. I’ll never live it down.
January 17, 2008 at 10:28 am
Shawn W
Ivy, he’s not a vocal man. If not for those gestures, I wouldn’t have a clue.
(I took my own advice and let him read this. He actually blushed!)
Tigereye, John do something annoying!? Tell me it ain’t so!
They do have a way of making us feel like first class a***s, from time to time. Don’t they?
January 17, 2008 at 11:54 am
davidrochester
Little things, as the song says, mean a lot.
It’s funny.
Big gestures are easy to make. They’re societally-prescribed. Everyone knows what they are. They’re a dozen roses, a necklace, a bathtub surrounded by candles, a woman meeting her husband at the door in a negligee.
But in all my years of being with women, the thing I remember most is my ex, who used to travel a lot, cutting out a newspaper headline and mailing it to me because she knew how much it would make me laugh. I had just acquired Little Liu, and the headline said: “A Dispatch from the Axis of Weasels.”
Yeah.
It’s the little things.
January 17, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Shawn W
How funny, David!
You’re right, and what you and Vicky, both, described is someone taking the time to know what will make you happy and not just taking the easy way out.
It’s important that hubby knows that I prefer carnations to roses and would rather have a man-made emerald than a real diamond. Roses and diamonds would be bigger but mean much less.
January 18, 2008 at 4:52 am
jojovtx1800
This reminds me of “Footprints in the sand”, he is always there, even when you feel alone.
I have seen up and down, and I promised myself to never take advantage of, or become complacent in my relationship with my wife. I know she is always there for me to lean on, and I try to let her know daily that I am there for her.
January 18, 2008 at 10:14 am
Shawn W
You guys have been through a lot together, Jojo. It’s nice you’ve come out on the strong side of it.
January 19, 2008 at 4:25 am
Wanda Rizzuto
Little things are nice, aren’t they?
January 19, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Shawn W
Yup.
February 2, 2008 at 6:37 am
sue2
I think I just read something I will never forget, and that tells you how important it was that you wrote it.
February 2, 2008 at 9:42 am
Shawn W
Sue, as you know, to truly touch someone is a writers fondest wish. Thank you for letting me know.